The Quileutes close in on expecting parents Edward and Bella, whose unborn child poses a threat to the Wolf Pack and the towns people of Forks.

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“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Pt.1,” is the first fraction of the potential two-part film, adapted from the fourth and final book of the saga by Stephanie Meyer— with the second part coming out in November of next year. This film serves as a placeholder for the finale, and after seeing the first part of “Breaking Dawn,” I began to wonder: “what more could they possibly have to tell?”

Part one begins with the marriage of Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and her vampire lover boy, Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson); I do have to say the wedding is gorgeous, with its scenic outdoor ceremony. Familiar mortal faces from previous films smile, mingle, and dance, which makes me curious if they realize that the Cullen family are living-dead? Are they too oblivious to take notice of their achromatic complexions and luminous eyes?

After the wedding we land in Brazil for the surprise honeymoon. Yes, finally, the moment fans have been waiting for! The long awaited act of fornication arrives in this pro-abstinence series. But the sad thing is, we don’t get to see it… All that we see is broken bed frames, torn feathered pillows, and some cuts and bruises on Bella. What monstrous act has been committed? All we do know is Bella has a “demon” baby growing inside her— Edward is just that good.

The rest of the movie is spent debating what to do with the baby as it grows at a blistering rate, weakening Bella day by day. Meanwhile, Bella’s best friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner) leaves his wolf pack after the pack decides that it is vital for them to rid of Bella and the baby that is growing inside of her. From this point on, everyone just hovers around and waits for the wolves to make an attack. That’s the storyline; I’m not making it up.

I have never read a “Twilight” book, which leaves me to better judge the series as films. I wish I had good news to deliver with this latest installment, but with every new director comes an even less promising feature.

When the first film came out, yeah, it was unsophisticated, but at least it had a somewhat enticing story— or maybe not? Girl loves vampire. Vampire loves girl. Vampire lives for forever. Girl can’t live forever. Girl must become vampire.

Then “New Moon” came along; vampire breaks up with girl.  Girl is sad. Girl goes in woods and cries. Teen wolf saves girl. Girl likes teen wolf. Teen wolf likes girl. Vampire is back in girl’s life. Teen wolf receives a Dear John letter.

Last year, the action-packed “Eclipse” graced us with its presence, providing a little more insight into the love-triangle between Jacob, Edward and Bella. Then a huge war with wolves, good vampires, and bad vampires takes place. I do have to admit, “Eclipse” is the better film of the series, though still far from perfect.

Now, the story in “Breaking Dawn” gets even more preposterous and laughable (just you wait for the animated wolf drama scene where they talk through thoughts). I mean, I get it— I get why this franchise is so heartwarming. Every year, I watch these films and give it a chance, but every year my hopes of a better film are dashed. The script is flat out terrible, with dialogue such as, “If you kill her, you kill me!” That’s page-turning dialogue at its finest. Also the visual effects are disgustingly awful. We live in a new age where we have stunning effects: “Avatar,” “The Lord of the Rings,” and even 1994′s “Jurassic Park” surpasses it. I’m harsh on these films because they are laughably bad; then again, I am not part of the demographic that these movies were made for.

Kristen Stewart proves to have better acting chops here in “Breaking Dawn,” but instead of constantly running her hands through her hair and biting her lip like she did in the first three; she rubs her pregnant belly unceasingly throughout the film’s entirety. Robert Pattinson, who is a very talented young actor, is not bad either but the dullness of the script doesn’t allow him— or anyone, for that matter— to excel. Taylor Lautner, who is barely recognizable with a shirt on, cannot act. The best scene of the movie with Taylor Lautner is when his character looks at Bella’s pregnant belly and then at Edward. He then yells, “You did this!” What a genius Jacob is! Who else did it?

Lastly, this is not a film for kids; it would have been more appropriate for the studio to give it an R-rating. It has the most gruesome and creepy birthing scene for a PG-13 movie ever. An R-rating would have been helpful for the movie in another way: they could have shown us what really happened in that bedroom. Oh well.

“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Pt. 1” is the worst “Twilight” yet. But the Volturi rule! Just you wait for that scene after the credits.

The Evil Queen (Charlize Theron) is very evil and staying true to the story wants to be the fairest of all, unfortunately Snow White (Kristen Stewart) stands in her way. Enter the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) to track down Snow White so that the Evil Queen can devour her heart. This adaptaion looks to let Snow White be a much more proactive protagonist since the trailer and posters show her wearing armor, carrying a sword and charging into battle. From the trailer the movie looks to be a new fantasy epic much more along the lines of Lord of the Rings or Chronicles of Narnia with dragons, monsters, huge battles and a lot of magic.

Up to this point Stewart has been a complete deal breaker for me (sorry Twihards) but after seeing this new trailer I am now intregued for the film. The film is slated to come out this summer making it a tent pole release for Universal. Recently the head of Universal, Rom Meyer, gave his very candid and honest thoughts about he quality of films Universal has put out the last few years (read here). It will be interesting to see Where ‘Snow White and the Huntsman’ falls in terms of quality. Check out the trailer and the new posters below to make inital judgements for yourself.

The Dallas stop on the tour, at the Palladium Ballroom (Google Map) on Wednesday, November 9, features appearances by Ashley Greene (Alice Cullen), Nikki Reed (Rosalie Hale), Jackson Rathbone (Jasper Hale), Kellan Lutz (Emmett Cullen), and Elizabeth Reaser (Esme Cullen). The event will also feature a performance by “Breaking Dawn” soundtrack artist Christina Perri.

Here’s the details, verbatim, on how to score tickets to the event. Pay attention!

Tickets are free and will be available beginning at 10:00 am local time on Saturday, November 5th at each event location. Tickets are limited to two per person and are non-transferable. Names must be provided for the pair of tickets upon pick up. Photo ID must be shown upon arrival at the event (school ID is acceptable) and guests must arrive at the event with the individual who picked up the tickets. Tickets are available on a first come, first served basis, until venue capacity is reached.

“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn (Part 1)” opens in theaters November 16.

So, in true blue-balls fashion, they’re doling out tiny, tiny dollops to tease… the tease. Have a look (because that’s all you get):

Hosted by Jason Sudeikis, the 2011 MTV Movie Awards air Sunday, June 5 at 8:00 pm CT.

For your first taste of the movie the teaser trailer will debut on the MTV Movie Awards Sunday, June 5 and online immediately after the show. The Stephanie Meyer epic begins it’s countdown to the end with ‘Breaking Dawn part 1′ this fall, November 18th.

If those weren’t enough Snow White action for you Disney is also working on a new version of the story titled ‘Snow and the Seven.’ What sets this one a part from the others is as opposed to being a “dark” version of fairy tale/classics like so many films currently out or in production (‘Beastly,’ ‘Oz: The Great and Powerful,’ ‘Peter Pan,’ ‘Jack the Giant Killer,’ ‘Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters’ to name a few) ‘Snow and the Seven’ relocates the story to 1880′s China and turns the dwarves into fighting shaolin monks. Novelist Michael Chabon will write the script and Yuen Wo Ping, the man who was responsible for choreographing ‘The Matrix’ and ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,’ will make ‘Snow and the Seven’ his first English language feature film directorial effort.

So with three new Snow White adaptations on the way, which peaks your intrest the most?

It seems like there are lots of Kristen Stewart detractors out there. Well, unless you are an 8-year old girl and you have a Team Edward lunchbox. I’m not one of those detractors. I also don’t own a Team Edward lunchbox. I happen to think that Stewart has the potential to be a great actress. Of course, I’m only basing this on two movies, “Panic Room” and “Adventureland”. She’s is sexier after ten minutes of “Adventureland” than she is in the entire “Twilight” series.

So where does Snyder turn for what is the second most important role in the “Superman” world? The usual list of hot actresses are in on this one, with Jessica Biel, Malin Akerman, Rachel McAdams, Mila Kunis, etc. If I was casting this part, I’d go with Evangeline Lilly 100% of the time. To be honest and fair, I volunteer her for almost every role. I pegged her for Catwoman, the monster from “Cloverfield”, and the next Bond car.

We’ve snagged two autographed posters from “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse,” and you have a chance to steal them away from us… as long as you can articulate your affection.

Sure, we could set up a contest form, like we do for our standard contests for movie passes or DVDs, but that wouldn’t be very fair to these killer collectibles. One of the two posters are signed by Dakota Fanning, Xavier Samuel and Bryce Dallas Howard, with the other autographed by Chaske Spencer, Alex Meraz and Julia Jones.

Therefore, we want to know, simply, why you’re a fan of the “Twilight” movies and/or books. Feel free to go into detail as to how you found out about the series, your level of devotion to the films, your “team affiliation” (if you really must).

Entries will be accepted through 5:00 pm on Monday, July 19. Get crackin’.