New Line Scratches ‘Hairspray’ Sequel

Some sequels never should have happened: Staying Alive. The Exorcist II. Blues Brothers 2000. It’s not so much that the movies sucked, though they did; it’s more that the originals wrapped up their stories so neatly that we didn’t need to see what came next, and the studios’ insistence on doing so takes away the satisfaction of the ending. Most big-hit sequels fall flat, though this won’t stop the studios from trying to turn every new popcorn hit into a franchise.

Narrowly escaping the fate of Saturday Night Fever et al.: Hairspray. The planned sequel is off the table.

There was some comfort in the fact that it was to be written by John Waters, but even he didn’t seem too jazzed about it. Nor did director Alan Shankman. None of the cast had committed. New Line finally admitted it: Hairspray 2 just isn’t going to happen.

And that’s as it should be.

The original story is so perfectly self-contained that it’s remained fresh through two movies and a Broadway musical (not necessarily in that order). Tracy Turnblad will always stay where she belongs, place secure on the Corny Collins show. And in my mind, Tracy will be Ricki Lake, and she and Divine will be strutting across the TV screen at some house taken over by a high school party, where I’m sitting on the couch — having opted to sit out the drama of Gwen finding out that Chelsea hooked up with Gwen’s boyfriend at Gwen’s birthday party — hoping my life could be half as fun as Tracy’s someday.

(It is, by the way. Thank you, John Waters.)