REVIEW: ‘Ninja Assassin’

On the surface, “Ninja Assassin” is nothing more than an action-packed, overly-gratuitous gore fest. While it is happily these things, with James McTeigue (“V for Vendetta”) directing, the Wachowski Brothers producing and J. Michael Straczynski (comic book legend and personal hero) behind the screenplay, this film offers more than expected.

“Ninja Assassin” Rated R • 99 minutes Starring Rain, Naomie Harris Directed by: James McTeigue Written By: Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski RCC Rating: Worth Seeing At A Matinee

“Ninja Assassin” is the story of a young boy who is trained by a secret society of ninjas to be a merciless killing machine. Upon witnessing the brutal murder of a friend, Raizo (played by Korean pop star Rain) escapes from the clan and plots his unyielding revenge. Let’s be honest though, if you’re going to see this film, you’re not going for the “story”. Ninja Assassin is exactly what you think it is: an adrenaline fueled, slice-and-dice, blood-spilling good time.

A solid storyline fuels the otherwise-pointless action sequences, and gives you just enough substance to keep you holding on between what can only be described as a parade of severed body parts. The addition of the none too original, often cringing, back story features a young Raizo being trained as a Ninja and regularly beaten for his failures. While scenes of a bloody, scar covered child may be too much for some, it preaches loud and clear the message that “this guy is hardcore.” If still not convinced, the all-too-expected Eighties-style montage of push-ups on nails, dual katana flailing, and slick ninja star throwing will further pound home the message “this guy is REALLY hardcore.”

While the ambiguous nature of this film is often distracting, flipping between elements of a real world feel to a very absurd comic book texture, the excessive blood spatter rarely allows time to focus on such quibbles. This movie takes about three minutes to let you know what it sets out to do, which one could only assume would be to spew as much blood out of as many bodies as fast as possible.

“Ninja Assassin” is not a date movie. It’s not a movie for those with weak stomachs. It’s not a movie for those looking to find an epic arthouse film that will make you take a serious inventory of your soul. “Ninja Assassin” is a movie for the kind of person who enjoys seeing someone’s face ripped off with a ninja star. “Ninja Assassin” is a movie for the kind of person who enjoys seeing one man take on 50 men, effortlessly, and win. “Ninja Assassin” is a movie for me.