REVIEW: ‘Whiteout’

“Whiteout” is brought to us by Dominic Sena, who has brought us groundbreaking Janet Jackson and Sting videos, “Gone in Sixty Seconds” and very little ever since. Now he’s back in the director’s chair to adapt a 1998 graphic novel by Greg Rucka and Steve Lieber.

Kate Beckinsale plays Carrie Stetko, a U.S. Marshall stationed in a scientific research facility in Antarctica. We’re not sure why, but she has requested a post here (cop with a past). Just before she is set to go home and retire, she is tasked with investigating the first murder in Antarctica, which is tied to a mysterious plane crash from the 1950s with “mysterious cargo” on board. Stetko has to try and figure it all out before a huge storm comes and hits the base leaving them potentially stranded for another six months in the desolate terrain. Whew! Cliché, don’t you think?

There’s some trust issues with all the characters as Carrie is trying to find herself again in the cold, cold vast wasteland of guilt and self-punishment sprinkled in with some lackluster dialogue and cold stares of bewilderment that she is actually a federal agent, and then the rest goes “blah, blah, blah… yadda, yadda, yadda… Kate Beckinsale is hot and leaves us cold in Antarctica”. There is one hot spot in the movie, however – it occurs early on with KB taking a steaming shower after a long day on the job with everything left to the imagination behind the steamed glass, but of course this happens within the first five minutes of the movie. The rest of the time you’re wondering when the tight leather winter garb will come out, even though you know it’s –55 degrees Celsius outside.

Overall, “Whiteout” is not a painfully bad movie. The CG and effects were pretty good, and they were sometimes a little graphic with bodies on the ice. However, good effects and a hot lead actress don’t make up for a cliched plot and poor execution. I’d call this a rental, or a decent buy if it comes out right around the Black Friday specials at your local electronics store.