BSG “Threeboot”: An Extended Commentary About Make-Overs
Joel Watson over at Hijinks Ensue (warning: highly addictive often-NSFW web comic) had quite nearly the exact same reaction I did to the news of Brian Singer redoing the Battlestar Galactica universe. Specifically, that reaction was, “Seriously?!? WTF?!?”
I mentioned this story in Flash Cuts from August 14, and I was none too charitable about it. In the last twenty-four hours, I’d say my opinion has only gotten worse. There is just no justice or logic in the world if this seriously happens. Seriously.
Yes, this is serious.
Because it’s not like this is a limited phenomenon. Joe explores the prevalence of the “reboot” and “remake” trend with “Poltergeist” and with “Godzilla” and “the Vampire Chronicles”. And who knows how many times we’ve seen perfectly serviceable movies from our past recast in “newer light”? As I sit here pondering this and trying to put titles out of the ether to share with you, my brain has shut down in self-defense and refuses to subject you to any more horror with real examples.
What, you may ask, is really wrong with doing remakes? Why are those who truly love movies offended by the impulse to “redo”?
The first has to do with the source material, and this further splits into sub-problems. If the original source material lacked in any way, if it was cheesy and goofy and just kinda wrong (like, say, “Captain Mullet Planet” or “Rainbow Bright”), then maybe remaking it isn’t such a bad idea. After all, sometimes the only way to get anywhere is to start over.
But, we’re also conditioned to expect poor treatment of previous franchises a la the “Ghostbusters” cartoon series and “City of Angels”. (Yes, the original story, “Wings of Desire”, is my precious childhood memory. Don’t judge me.)
Why remake something that has already been done well? Haven’t we learned anything from the Star Trek franchise? (I avoided the obvious Star Wars reference, you can thank me when you see me.) The original series was cheesy and ridiculous, but it sparked our imagination in a fresh way. “The Next Generation” took the basic premise and improved on it while still honoring most of the core elements of “exploring strange, new worlds”. “Deep Space Nine” approached the “explorers in space” setting from a different point of view by having the aliens come to them and created an even deeper and more complex story. And then we got to “Voyager” (or, as we like to call it, “Gilligan’s Island in Space”) and we’re suspecting that there are only so many ways to revisit a topic.
Hey! Let’s “reboot” and churn out “Enterprise”!
And then they all died.
The franchise slowly ground itself to something that stopped be enjoyable to the primary fan base, but then to pull them out of the quagmire of obscure appreciation by a shrinking few, J.J. Abrams steps in and makes some magic happen, making the reboot better than the original.
This is, in my opinion, the only way to justify rebooting, remaking, or “refreshing” any type of work like this. If you can’t improve on it significantly, leave it the hell alone!
So say we all.
